Stuck in an elevator (and hearing voices)

Part of what makes great dialogue is being able to write for a pre-existing character and nail it; another part consists of taking characters and giving them a new, unexpected twist, another is the sense of humor that leaves the audience smiling long afterwards. It works and it sticks. Here is an example from The Narrative Department's masterclass on game writing, an assignment for which we were challenged to capture three pre-established voices accurately.

Characters 

-Lara Croft, the crafty treasure hunter from the Tomb Raider series

-Ciara, the bisexual druidess romantic interest from AC: Valhalla’s DLC: The Curse of the Druids

-The Dragonborn, the cipher from Skyrim

FADE IN:

INT. ELEVATOR — OFFICE BUILDING — MIDNIGHT

Inside of a metal-lined elevator stands LARA CROFT (30s, British, beautiful), arms crossed, looking around the empty space, then down her outfit.

LARA CROFT (scoffs)

Why?! Why do they always dress me up like a trampy archaeologist?

The doors OPEN, in walks the DRAGONBORN (tall, androgynous), in head to toe armor with a bow and sword. Beside him, CIARA (late 20s, sultry ginger lassie) staggers in drunk, dressed in furs and leather, a red mark on her lovely face. The doors SHUT.

LARA CROFT

I say! Is it Halloween? Aren’t you two quite the pair? What floor? I was going…well, blimey! I can’t remember. How odd. Can you?

CIARA

Wonders of wonders! You have trapped us in a strange, shiny cage, strange lass! But tell me true, do you have ale?

LARA CROFT

Not from around here, are you, Shakespeare?

DRAGONBORN

Press X to equip the enchanted spear.

Lara Croft and Ciara look warily at the Dragonborn, who stands stock still. The women take a cautious step back from him.

LARA CROFT

Still want that ale, mate?

CIARA

Aye, lass. Even more than before. I’m Ciara.

Ciara reaches out her hand, and Lara Croft shakes it. Ciara smiles and winks at her before releasing her hand.

LARA CROFT

Lara. Sorry, cheeky monkey. I’ve swung a lot in the past, but not that   way. Is he all right? Should I worry?

CIARA 

Ah, my mouth has gotten me in enough trouble today. This one’s not with me, lass, but no, you’ve no need to fear him.

Ciara holds out her hands and a blue MAGIC glows inside of them.

LARA CROFT

    Is that magic, Ciara?

CIARA

Aye, fair Lara, for I am a druidess. Have no fear while I am here.   

Still, I can scarce recall how I came to be here at all.

LARA CROFT

Are you also a poet?

CIARA

Nay, fair Lara. I am a poetess.

      LARA CROFT

Of course you are. What do you remember?

Ciara SHRUGS, pointing to the numbered buttons by the door.

CIARA

I was wandering, lost in the forest. ‘Tis all a fog in my mind to recall how I came here. Are those buttons magic?

DRAGONBORN

Click enter to confirm putting one skill point into Destruction Magic.

LARA CROFT

Are you quite mad? (sighs) Assuming you’re not, before Sir Talksalot explodes or wakes up, let’s get out of this prison.

DRAGONBORN

Prisoner! Select your race and name.

CIARA

What is this prison? Where am I?

LARA CROFT

WHEN are you might be a better question, based on your clothes and speech. (To Dragonborn) Excuse me, sir or ma’am?

Lara Croft KNOCKS once cautiously on the Dragonborn’s armor. It sounds hollow.

CIARA

    Hollow inside.

LARA CROFT

So haunted or cursed, this walking talking suit of armor?

DRAGONBORN

Equipping heavy dragonscale armor.

The Dragonborn’s armor GLOWS from inside.

     LARA CROFT

    Look out!

CIARA

Behind me!

Ciara turns the blue light, proof of her immense power, into a protective shield around the women, but does not STOP the Dragonborn’s aura.

CIARA

Nay, fair Lara; I am the mightiest of mighty druidesses, but this one’s got powerful magic far beyond my ken. I’m pressed to continue holding it back!

DRAGONBORN

Press X to continue.

Lara Croft takes a peek at the elevator buttons. 

ZOOM IN:

INT. ELEVATOR -- BUTTON PANEL -- CONTINUOUS 

Top button without a number, marked: X.

ZOOM OUT:

INT. ELEVATOR — CONTINUOUS

Lara shows Ciara the button.

LARA CROFT

Well, it usually marks the spot. Let’s find out, shall we? Before this malfunctioning Tin Man here blows us all to bloody smithereens.

Lara Croft presses the button for the top floor marked X. It GLOWS an ominous blood red. The elevator moves up. Ciara LURCHES and GRABS onto the railing. We hear POPPING and see SPARKS in the blue light around Ciara. The Dragonborn’s glow slowly expands outwards.

CIARA

What devilry have you wrought, lass? The floor moves 'neath my feet!

The glowing Dragonborn TURNS towards the elevator doors, Ciara FALLS to the floor, HOLDS her head in terror. The blue FLASHES and SPARKS around Ciara grow longer and brighter.

DRAGONBORN

Press W or the up key to move forward.

CIARA

Spirits of the earth! Make it stop!

Ciara rolls on the floor, SCREAMING. After a moment, the blue sparks UNITE into a hazy aura surrounding her, growing brighter by the second.

LARA CROFT

Girl, get up!

Lara TOUCHES Ciara, and is THROWN against the wall, and both her pistols FIRE. The echo is deafening, and Lara Croft puts her hands over her ears.

DRAGONBORN

Press enter to level up.

From up above, we hear a ROAR and a CRASH that shakes the ascending elevator and its occupants.

LARA CROFT

I’m always up for adventure, but what was that?!?

DRAGONBORN

Once I was an adventurer like you….

Lara Croft takes out her PISTOL and BANGS it on the Dragonborn’s helmet.

LARA CROFT

Oh, no, you don’t! I’m a dangerous girl and right now I’m losing patience. 

CIARA

The great serpent of Ireland! It’s come for us at last!

Ciara GRABS Lara Croft’s arm. Lara Croft GLOWS blue and SCREAMS in pain.

LARA CROFT

Let go! You’re frying me alive!

CIARA

Let me out!!

Lara manages to break Ciara’s grasp as the blue aura around her grows brighter, louder, and bluer.

DRAGONBORN

Press enter to select shout.

The elevator STOPS, a bell DINGS, and the doors SLIDE open to reveal... 

CUT TO:

I/O THE ROOF AND ELEVATOR — 2 MINUTES AFTER MIDNIGHT 

Through the ceiling, which has been ripped open, perches a huge dragon, ALDUIN (giant and scary), who CHUCKLES as he sees the three in the elevator.

ALDUIN

Well, well, well, What tasty little morsels do we have here? All in a  tin can.

Ciara, BUZZES and GLOWS blue like a bug zapper, STANDS and POINTS her hands at Alduin as she SCREAMS in pain.

CIARA

You want to rid the world of us? I shall rid it of you, foul serpent!

LARA CROFT

Perhaps not just yet, then. 

Lara Croft pulls out her other pistol and points both at Alduin.

DRAGONBORN

Why do you think? End of the line.

ALDUIN

I shall consume you pathetic humans and then devour your entire world!

LARA CROFT

Anyway, busy girl, gotta go. 

DRAGONBORN

RII VAAZ UI!

SLO-MO:

INT. ELEVATOR -- CONTINUOUS 

Lara Croft YELLS as she FIRES at Alduin, her bullets SPIRAL out of the smoking barrels.

We follow the bullets as they travel through Ciara’s blue magic, ABSORBING it all as she ARCHES her back in pain. 

I/O. ELEVATOR AND ROOF -- CONTINUOUS

We follow with the blue bullets’ trajectories, as the shock waves of the Dragonborn’s shout CATCH UP TO and PROPEL the blue bullets into Alduin’s chest. 

END SLO-MO:

EXT. ROOF -- CONTINUOUS

Alduin COLLAPSES, bringing down much of the ceiling with him.

ALDUIN

NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

Alduin DIES. Ciara GASPS, then SIGHS in relief. Lara Croft PUFFS onto each smoking pistol’s barrel, SPINS each around on a finger, and STORES them in her leg holsters. She EXAMINES Alduin’s body. Ciara stands and joins her.

LARA CROFT

Well, that’s something you don’t see every day.

CIARA

Aye, fair Lara. You and I have seen death together. I would like to celebrate life with you, and a cup of ale too?

LARA CROFT

Maybe an ale, cheeky monkey. And an explanation?

      CIARA

You tell me! We have nary a snake in Ireland.

LARA CROFT

That would explain the accent and the clothes. But this?

Lara POINTS as Alduin’s spirit RUSHES like a tornado of light into the DRAGONBORN. A hanging light fixture, torn from the ceiling by Alduin’s fall and caught by the wind, HITS the Dragonborn’s helmet with a CLANG. The Dragonborn FACES the two women.

DRAGONBORN

…until I took an arrow in the knee.

CIARA AND LARA CROFT

NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

FADE OUT: